I’m not certified to dispense recommendation on a lot, until the subject in query is a) running a blog, b) buying plus-size classic in actually any state within the U.S. or c) Actual Housewives. However after I first turned conscious of the bars and eating places that Taylor Swift and her NFL boyfriend Travis Kelce have been visiting in my very own adopted metropolis of Los Angeles, I instantly knew I needed to provide some alts, although the couple in query will possible by no means see them. I’d by no means presume to cross judgment on how folks—even extraordinarily wealthy, well-known, engaging folks—spend their time eating out, however…Barney’s Beanery? How did Tay’s safety element green-light that one?

Different LA haunts that Taylor and Travis have reportedly hit embrace Nobu in Malibu, which is objectively a really good and fancy place to get sushi and benefit from the view, however…I’m sorry, I feel this celeb couple deserves higher. With out additional ado, right here’s my (completely subjective) checklist of locations the place Taylor and Travis ought to be eating and ingesting in LA:

What I’m gathering from Taylor and Travis’s Barney’s Beanery tour is that they need to be someplace divey and chill, ideally with meals, and I can’t consider a greater place for them to unwind than this tiny, extraordinarily enjoyable bar that serves Thai meals and lethally robust drinks. Plus, there’s a car parking zone—you realize, for his or her limos.

Granted, Taylor and Travis most likely aren’t searching for the identical finances all-you-can-eat sushi offers that I’m, however everybody appreciates a cut price, even superstars and professional athletes, proper? I genuinely suppose that the sushi right here can roughly maintain its personal in opposition to Nobu’s, and albeit, Malibu is so performed out; I’ve it on good authority that the subsequent huge, horny LA neighborhood might be Glendale. Taylor and Travis may seize a 6 p.m. desk, stuff themselves with sushi, then stroll across the Americana holding palms and shopping for Auntie Anne’s pretzels. I imply, what screams “real love” extra loudly than sushi on the mall?

I’m not making an attempt to be a meals snob (Applebee’s is my one real love, in any case), however the thought of Taylor and Travis consuming pizza at Barney’s Beanery when there’s so significantly better Italian fare available in LA is making me escape in hives. Why not go to Little Dom’s, and eat a genuinely good margherita alongside all the opposite celebrities? Or, even higher, they only hire out the restaurant!

Okay, I’m sorry for calling Malibu passé; crawling with annoying, wealthy seashore bros although it might be, it’s nonetheless some of the lovely areas in LA, and I feel Taylor and Travis would actually be getting the very best that it has to supply at this seafood-and-beer spot off the freeway. Not solely does it have beautiful vistas, however there’s the chance to utterly stuff your self with fried shrimp.

Hear me out: There’s an ocean view! My very own accomplice took me right here on one among our first dates, and I felt like an absolute princess consuming cheeseburger spring rolls whereas the waves crashed softly simply behind us. I would like that for Taylor Swift, okay? It’s what each girl deserves.